Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Randomize
