Where did you get a picture of my penis
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
