did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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