you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
