Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
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