I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
