Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
