i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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