It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
you didnt know i had herpes?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
