Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
