Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize