can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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