And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
