Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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