yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
