So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
