Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize