got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
