Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
