Just fell off a train. Bad.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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