We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
