He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
