She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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