dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
