I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
