hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
