he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
