Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
