Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
