Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
