the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
