I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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