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• (248): View more from Michigan

  the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong

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• (310): View more from California

  i was born a porn star she said

  Fav 12 3558 817

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick

  Fav 41 1451 4037

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.

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• 

  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (360): View more from Washington

  Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.

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• (940): View more from Texas

  Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass

  (240): View more from Maryland

  He should have died. Natural selection.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.

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• 

  These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (330): View more from Ohio

  My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.

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• (951): View more from California

  The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.

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• (+91): View more from India

  I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf

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