I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
