he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
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Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
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The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper