Just look for the house with the beer knights.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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