I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
My vagina just recognized that song.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.