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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...

  Fav 17 977 8375

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does

  Fav 21 1047 5859

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.

  Fav 6 5732 1019

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  25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.

  Fav 10 4461 1437

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• (863): View more from Florida

  I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.

  Fav 3 1261 487

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.

  Fav 1 1020 534

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron

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• (323): View more from California

  GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.

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• (516): View more from New York

  He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE

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