I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
