I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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