He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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