Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize