My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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