I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
