I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
