y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
