my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
