i think i have two assholes
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
