you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Just pee around me
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
