marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
