i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
