Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
