Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
