Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
