is your mom at the bar?
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
