we have officially lost it.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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