I just gift wrapped bread.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
