he wants to bone in the snuggie
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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