We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
