I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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