My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
