Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
