Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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