pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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