Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
