so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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