I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Nobody cheats on THIS.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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