I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
