Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
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