Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just pynch a tree in the face
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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