me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
