btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize